Dark Nerds

If the internet is more interesting to you and the other level 3 wizards than beer and a real live girl then you deserve an inevitable life of celibacy, dummy.

Ass Pirate

It’s going to take more than a popped collar and a ball sling over the eye to turn you into a pirate, dummy.

Ginger

Smile dummy, this is the closest you and that ginger face-merkin will ever get to a chick’s ass.

Wonder Dummy

I’m pretty sure Wonder Woman never tied up bad guys with a tangled up wad of the shit my mom uses to tie the curtains back, dummy.

Faux-too

When you and your hostage are done touching up your nipple stars, take that sharpie and jam it in your ear, dummy.

Lady Boy

I can see your taint, dummy and I still can’t tell if you sit or stand.  

Chuck Morris

The only thing you’re a black belt in is bad tattoos, dummy.

Pre-stache

You aren’t going to be an internet dating sensation with Batman crap all over your wall, dummy.

Havfrue

Do as many crunches as you want, dummy, you still look like a pre-op little mermaid.  

Big Baller

That’s only $584, dummy, are you big pimpin’ at Ross or dropping off half your rent?