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Blotto Jaffa

You might consider serving something a little stronger than light beer if you’re going to stand there, dummy.

Bubble Gut

Drink Pabst until your blind, dummy, that party trick next to you will never resemble the piece of ass on your band tee.

Postman Pat

It’s not going to get any lighter if you keep carrying it around, dummy.

Perry Como

Throwing a fit and holding your breath in front of mommy and daddy’s door until you turn red doesn’t work when your 30, dummy.

Two Thirty

I don’t care if it will fit, no one wants to see you do it, dummy.

Pot and Pan

If you are so old that you hike your pants up past your tits, then at least put your mailbox someplace you can reach it, dummy.

My Name is Dummy

It wasn’t good enough that your parents put it on your birth certificate, you had to go and make it official, dummy.

Lazytown

Get some black eye liner, a stepdad that hates you and pop a cap in your own ass, because the cast of the Lazytown is more gangsta than this, dummy.

Dark Nerds

If the internet is more interesting to you and the other level 3 wizards than beer and a real live girl then you deserve an inevitable life of celibacy, dummy.